The Beech Group

More happiness for children
The Children's Society has come up with yet another report about the state of families and the unhappiness of children. It seems to me that a lot of what they are talking about is common sense.
Of course children are going to be unhappy living in a family where there is constant conflict and where there is a culture of blame.
However, I think the main source of children's unhappiness is the lack of security they feel as a result of the lack of time spent by parents talking and listening to them.
A child can cope very well with conflict, after all school is one of the most conflictual places they are likely to experience in their lives.
Parents can be crucial in teaching their offspring how to cope with the conflict that arises out of the natural anger which everyone feels at sometime.
Parents sometimes do not realize that their behaviour is the model for how their children view men and women and the important relationships they have with each other.
Children need attention and someone to convey to them that they are worthwhile and valuable. This does not require constant attention but does require at least a certain amount of time each day when they have a one-to-one relationship with a parent who is interested in them. This contributes hugely to the child's happiness and, perhaps surprisingly, so does the maintaining of strong boundaries.
Children feel secure within boundaries, knowing that someone is going to hold them and love them enough to say "no" when appropriate. Unfortunately, some parents seem unable to use this most important word, believing that their children will hate them unless they allow them to do just as they wish.
No child, or adult, for that matter, feels secure without boundaries which enable them to feel safe and protected.
I am growing a little tired of constantly reading reportts that tell us what is wrong with our families without offering solutions other than throwing money at them.