Affairs cause relationships to break
I really don’t believe this, because if you are happy in your relationship and it provides you with the love and attention that most people crave for, you are not going to be interested in anyone else.
Its only when you start having problems in the relationship that you become vulnerable to other people who appear to offer the things that your partner is no longer, or never was, giving to you.
So the answer is not that affairs cause relationships to break but problems in the relationship cause people to have affairs.
Often an affair is a cry for help, it certainly makes your partner sit up and take notice. On some occasions the partner is able to acknowledge their part in the problems and then the couple have an opportunity to build a new relationship, often with the help of a Couple Therapist.
Friday, 19 March 2010
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
Recipe for a Good Relationship 2
Talk every day and talk about something that is important to you at least once a week.
When you first meet someone you want to talk all the time. There is so much to share about past lives and hopes and dreams for the future.
If you are lucky enough to fall in love then there is so much to share and you cannot get enough information about this wonderful person. Lots of the talking may take place in bed after love making.
As time goes on and the relationship is cemented either by marriage or moving in together, the realities of life creep in. There is a need to work, often late into the evening, children arrive and they need to be looked after, money is often a pressing issue.
So many responsibilities to contend with that the conversation that was so full and vibrant gets reduced to “how are we going to pay this latest bill?” “what shall we have for dinner?” and similar necessity conversations.
Less and less do the couple talk about their love for each other and how the other is really feeling.
Therefore, setting aside a little time, maybe as little as 10 minutes, perhaps before going to sleep, to talk about how the events of the day have affected them. Once a week having a longer conversation concentrating on each other to the exclusion of the children and other demands will nurture relationship and keep it alive and dynamic.
Talk every day and talk about something that is important to you at least once a week.
When you first meet someone you want to talk all the time. There is so much to share about past lives and hopes and dreams for the future.
If you are lucky enough to fall in love then there is so much to share and you cannot get enough information about this wonderful person. Lots of the talking may take place in bed after love making.
As time goes on and the relationship is cemented either by marriage or moving in together, the realities of life creep in. There is a need to work, often late into the evening, children arrive and they need to be looked after, money is often a pressing issue.
So many responsibilities to contend with that the conversation that was so full and vibrant gets reduced to “how are we going to pay this latest bill?” “what shall we have for dinner?” and similar necessity conversations.
Less and less do the couple talk about their love for each other and how the other is really feeling.
Therefore, setting aside a little time, maybe as little as 10 minutes, perhaps before going to sleep, to talk about how the events of the day have affected them. Once a week having a longer conversation concentrating on each other to the exclusion of the children and other demands will nurture relationship and keep it alive and dynamic.
Friday, 5 March 2010
Recipe for a good relationship 1
“Never go to sleep on an argument”. I am sure you must have heard this said on numerous occasions, but it is really true.
Most people who have just had an argument with their partner feel bruised and hurt and want to get as far as possible away from that person. Often, thinking “I never want to talk to him or her again” and “why am I in this relationship anyway?”
They then tend to move somewhere else in the home and vow not to give in to their impossible partner. They may go to bed and turn their back and move as far across the bed as they can. Some people actually go to sleep in another room. Then in the morning, possibly with little or no sleep, the atmosphere is even worse and both people feel they are in the right and no way are they going to give in. The longer this goes on the more difficult it is to make contact again.
However, if you have a rule that you will never go to sleep without making contact, on most occasions the argument is dealt with and you are able to make up. Even if you have to agree to disagree, if you have a cuddle and a kiss you will be letting the other person know that you still love them despite their “unreasonableness”!
“Never go to sleep on an argument”. I am sure you must have heard this said on numerous occasions, but it is really true.
Most people who have just had an argument with their partner feel bruised and hurt and want to get as far as possible away from that person. Often, thinking “I never want to talk to him or her again” and “why am I in this relationship anyway?”
They then tend to move somewhere else in the home and vow not to give in to their impossible partner. They may go to bed and turn their back and move as far across the bed as they can. Some people actually go to sleep in another room. Then in the morning, possibly with little or no sleep, the atmosphere is even worse and both people feel they are in the right and no way are they going to give in. The longer this goes on the more difficult it is to make contact again.
However, if you have a rule that you will never go to sleep without making contact, on most occasions the argument is dealt with and you are able to make up. Even if you have to agree to disagree, if you have a cuddle and a kiss you will be letting the other person know that you still love them despite their “unreasonableness”!
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